I found out I was pregnant on Tuesday, May 20th or 22nd - whatever that Tuesday was. I peed on a stick and Joe walked in on me, so he naturally helped me to read the results. That night we told the Panters because they knew we had been worried. Joe and I decided not to tell anyone else for awhile. That lasted all of about 2 hours when I told Lauren M. that night. And the next day at school when I told all the teachers. And the next night when we called everyone else.
I started getting sick the next day (Wednesday) and have since lost somewhere between 7 and 12 pounds, depending on the day. My breasts have hurt like crazy, my sense of smell is ridiculous, I eat every two hours, I sleep a lot. In fact, since summer started, I take a nap just about every day like a baby.
Last week the hormones really stepped up a notch. I couldn't stand for Joe to come anywhere near me because I thought his breath was going to make me vomit. I also began to "express my opinions" a little more often and a little louder. Joe is super thrilled about that (note: that was written with sarcasm). I also started having very random thoughts. For instance, I woke up from a nap one day sure that I was going to have to have every Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house from now on and be the sole person responsible for the food. So what did I do? I went online and looked up all the food we have for the holidays and made a word document so that I would never forget anything. It seemed very logical to me at the time.
Saturday was Michele's baby shower. Jamie offered to pick me up. When she did, she had meds, a barf bag, and a chilled water bottle waiting for me. I asked her, how am I supposed to care for a child when I can't even care for myself! She told me it was fine and I would do great. I've heard that a lot and would like to know what people are basing it on. At the shower, I was passing the gifts for Michele to open and then stacking them on a table to be taken home. I ended up CRYING in front of the whole room. Why? Not because everything was so cute, but because I was overwhelmed. I had no clue what half the stuff was that she was opening and I freaked out that I wasn't going to get the "right things" for my baby. Hello Irrational Rachel!
Lord, thanks so much for this wonderful gift that you've given me, even though I have no clue what to do with it and was not expecting it. I ask that you would guide Joe and I as we trek along doing the best we can. Thank you so much for all the wonderful women you have put in my life for just this moment. Give me strength and energy to make it through the night. Amen.
