Unsettled

Been feeling very unsettled for quite awhile now. Ever since I had Connor, life has been very different for me (as it should be), but there are some things that I know I need to get back on track with. I need to get back into some sort of accountability/Bible study relationship, but I've been praying for a couple of months and I just don't know who the right person is at this point. Do I need someone more spiritually mature than me to guide me, someone less spiritual that I can guide as well as grow since I would be a leader, or do I need someone on the same playing field so we can encourage each other and grow together?

I also feel God's pull at my life in general. We've had several awesome sermons over the last 4 weeks, as well as a fantastic new book we are studying in the PLG. Both of these have opened my eyes to changes I need to make in my life in order to grow closer to God, Joe, and Connor, but I haven't changed a single thing! I get so mad at myself, but when the time comes up to make a conscious decision to read my Bible, pray, clean the house, spend time with my family, etc, I choose to get on the computer or watch TV. My excuse - my job wears me out so much I just cannot muster the energy to do anything. When I do muster the energy, I pay for it the next day at work. I realize now why God created a day of rest as well as why he intended mom's to spend their time raising children. When I read about the Proverbs 31 woman, I have no idea how she does it all! God must give her a supernatural energy.

Lord, I pray that you would continue to draw my heart closer to you. I ask that you would help me to make good decisions and that I would have the kind of energy you know I need in order to serve both you and my family. I ask that you would heal Connor's body so he stops spitting up. Be with Joe's office and either restore his paychecks in a timely manner or open up a new door for him. Help me to love my students and see them through your eyes. Amen.

It's been awhile since I've blogged on this site.  I had a baby in January and by March I was back at work.  No time or thoughts given to posting on a blog.

However, this morning Connor woke me up at 5:15, and although he and Joe have both easily gone back to sleep, I am wide awake.  So, I thought I would share my thoughts.

I just got done reading a fantastic book called The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  It was one of the best books I've read in a long time!  There is a sequel that either has come out or will be coming out soon, so our school librarian is going to make sure and order it!

Another things I've thought about: what ever happened to Beauty and the Geek.  That was one of Joe and my favorite reality shows and it just went away.  COME BACK!

Last night was the first Foster football game of the season.  I was really proud of my cheerleaders because I could tell they had been practicing!  And, they only needed me for certain things - for the most part they did what they were supposed to and showed a lot of maturity.  Good job girls!

Lord, help Connor to stop spitting up so much and let him gain enough weight to make the doctor happy.  Help him to keep from being fussy and open our eyes to see what is bothering him so we can help fix it.  Thank you that Joe and I are able to both still have jobs during this down time and I ask that you keep watch over our finances so we can be stewards of your gifts to us.  We love you and thank you! Amen.

Here I am at 3 am, and I can't sleep.  Connor woke up at 1:50, so I fed him and he's been asleep ever since.  I talked to the pediatrician about this and she said if I can't sleep to get up and do something boring until I feel sleepy again.  What if I'm up all night?  I don't feel tired AT ALL!  I wish I knew what made me tired so I could do it.

Joe and I decided that since Connor turned 8 weeks on Sunday and I was on Spring break, this would be the week that he learns to sleep through the night.  The first two nights he cried on and off for 2 hours.  Last night (the 4th night) it was only 40 minutes and tonight it was about 10 minutes!  I think my body may just be waiting for the two hour stint again.  

I got my hair cut really short today.  The girl kept asking me if I was doing ok every time she made a cut, and I finally told her that I was not one of those girls that cried about hair.  She relaxed after that!  I would post a picture, but our camera is currently broken, which is breaking my heart where Connor is concerned.  

Lord, help to sleep better as Connor learns to sleep better.  Thanks for a husband who is willing to help out and thanks for wonderful friends and family who help take care of our wants and needs.  As Joe and I continue to learn about finances, help us to make better decisions with our money so that we can give like you want us to.  Help me to be a better housekeeper, mother, and wife.  Amen.

5 Things

Yesterday at Bible study my friend was telling us that her therapist told her to write down 5 things that made her happy everyday.  I thought that was a fantastic idea, so I decided to do it as well...as long as I can remember.

1.  Connor and his beautiful smile!

2.  Having an excellent husband who is as interested in our marriage as I am.

3.  A semi-good night's sleep

4.  Cereal

5.  Getting voice messages from Taly

Lord, thanks so much for the sleep Connor and I were able to get last night!  I am so thankful for a beautiful baby boy.  Help Joe and I to be the best parents we can be and help us to love each other and lift one another up.  Thanks for awesome friends who encourage us to know you more.  Amen.

Due Day

Well, here we are at my official due date and still nothing is happening.  Yesterday I had the runs at school and everyone kept tellling me that labor would soon follow.  However, it had been almost 24 hours and I haven't even had a real contraction, just the Braxton Hicks/cramps.  On the other hand, I only got up once last night to go to the bathroom, so I got a full nights rest!  Yippee!!!  It may very well be my last one for awhile.  We've scheduled to be induced on Thursday morning if nothing happens before then, which makes me sad because I wanted to experience what it is like to go into labor on my own - you know, the adrenaline rush and the excitement and getting to call people who have no idea you were going in that day.  Plus, I think it is neat to let God choose my child's birthday instead of me.  However, in this day and age it is getting too hard to wait on God since jobs and time off get in the way.  We shall see, I suppose.  And I could always cancel my induction, but then I might waste an entire week's worth of sick leave before my son even arrives!

Lord, I pray for your perfect timing and I ask that you would help me to make wise decisions with my job and with this baby.  Help me to be in your perfect will.  Be with those who are ill right now and show my family who you are through this miracle of life.  Amen.

Still Waiting...

Went to the doctor yesterday. I am dialated to between a 3 and a 4. I can schedule my induction for Thursday if I haven't had him before then. Boo! I want him this weekend!

Lord, get this baby out of me! Amen.

It's Snowing!

How much you wanna bet that because the weather is so awful today will be the day I have my son? With the way this pregnancy has gone, that is just what I think will happen.

An interesting thing happened this morning. I was in the shower and I felt the need to pee (you know how it is). Right in the middle of going, the baby somehow moved and just clamped off the pee like you might bend a garden hose. That hurt!

Doctor's appointment today at 4 pm - keep us all in your prayers.

Lord, I just ask for safe driving and health in the weather that you have given us today. Help me to be the best teacher I can be and give me patience with the parents I am dealing with. Be with Jamie, Michele, and all of those who are sick right now. I love you so much, Amen!

The Waiting Game...

5 days left until my official due date. Who knows if I'll make it or if I'll go over. Sometimes I wish God would share some of his infinite wisdom and insight just to satisfy my curisoity. Should I be planning more lessons or should I go have a wild night tonight because it will be my last?

I've decided I need to stop wearing skirts for the rest of my pregnancy as well. My calves, ankles, and feet are so swollen it's actually pretty gross. I feel sorry for people who have to look at my legs, i.e. my students!

I've decided that I am going to take 3-4 names to the hospital with me so that when I meet my son I'll know what to call him. I think I've got it narrowed down to Adrian, Logan, Tyler, and Michael. I also like Connor.

Back to waiting...